I legit don’t know why, but I feel like watching Sita Sings the Blues all over again today. All 81 minutes of it.
But being the industrious student that I am (lol), I looked at my planner first to check if I had any deadlines due this week. And lo, and behold this new blog post is actually due tonight at 10 P.M.
I’m lowkey panicking right now ngl because my dad’s picking me up later at around 3 PM to hear Mass and for dinner. (It’s been a month since we’ve seen each other.) I have 5 hours. I can do this.
And since I still have 5 hours, I’m going to listen to the soundtrack to Sita Sings the Blues while I draft the post. God bless Annette Hanshaw and Youtube.
According to the instructions, The First Thing that I have to do is come up with a revised “problem statement”. I came up with 3 in my last blog post (which was also lowkeycrammed), but my professor was really nice enough to dedicate our sessions this week to revising those problem statements and a “mind map” (which I’ll talk about later).
Revised Problem Statement:
Growing up in a Catholic household, I was required to attend confession as often as I could. Especially when Holy Week drew near. My issues with sexuality started back when I was a kid when I was bullied for acting girly and soft. This eventually developed, and when I found out that I wanted to kiss boys rather than girls, I had a feeling that deep down what I was feeling was wrong, and that God wasn’t happy with me.
I would confess these urges to a priest. Sometimes, they would brush my feelings off. “Just don’t do it again,” they said. Usually, there would be a long line behind me. Other times, they would take on the tone of an exasperated parent. “You know that’s wrong naman diba?” they’d say, before sending me away to pray two Our Father’s, three Hail Mary’s and one Glory Be. These contributed to the confusion I felt about my sexuality.
Combining my two initially separate themes of religion and sexuality, I want to project the things I felt during each of the times I went to confession and had my concerns dismissed or scorned. It’s impossible for me to remember exactly how the dialogues went, but the feelings remain. As for how to portray this, I aim to revive my idea of an interactive confessional. After each confession, an attendant can come up to the participant and tell him/her about how the confessor turned out in the future.
Second Thing: our “mind-map”. Our professor explained what a mindmap was, and in summary it sounded like what it’s called: a mind-map, a physicalization of our thought process about the theme we chose. He gave us guide questions on what our mind-map should contain to remind us of what our artwork is supposed to achieve. Here’s mine:
The Third and Last Thing that we’re supposed to include here is our medium. How do I want to do my artwork? What materials are at my disposal? How will this medium contribute to the message/impact of the piece itself?
Okay, literally my first thought was like I take a wide room and then renovate the shit out of it. I’d create legit confessional booths where people can kneel in front of a shady-looking “window”. But then I remembered “CW” meant “Creative Writing” and not “construction worker”. Ives and Pau suggested that I set up my installation in an actual church/chapel. So I plan to do that. I’d have pre-recorded dialogue (phone, recorder, or laptop lmao I’m not yet sure) taped in strategic locations in pews. Participants would listen to the confessions through a loudspeaker.
12:17 PM. Not bad. I still have to scan a picture of my mind-map for the blog. But other than that, I’m done!
2:15 PM. I don’t have a scanner or a decent camera why didn’t I remember that. Oh well. MS Word will have to do.